Tonight I sat down to read my Sports Illustrated Baseball Preview - instead I began paging through the three ring binders presented to us with hundreds of letters from students from Willow Creek Middle School. We also have a book of letters from Shannon's Rebel teammates that I have been reading.
I think I had put my grieving on hold. But after scanning through a couple of the letters that tremendous burden of grief and loss is back. And I thank you for letting me feel this way again. Because without Shannon I am not OK. I will never be the same.
Sometimes it's easy to fall back into life...to fall back into the same attitudes and behaviors I swore off...
But then I read the words and messages from the classmates;
- "Shannon I am so fortunate to have met you and be your best friend. You always treated me with respect and kindness. You have touched my life in so many ways."
- "When you were first diagnosed you said you were going to beat it. I just wanna say you did good Shannon. You did good. I'm gonna miss you".
- "You could flip my day from bad to amazing with only a couple words. When I think of you I think of you as my hero. You were the strongest person I ever met and will probably ever meet".
The words from the Rebels follow the same theme;
- "When I think or see the number 9, I think of Shannon. When I see lime green I think of Shannon. Also when I hear the song "Don't Stop Believin'" I think of Shannon. I think of Shannon and how she never stopped believing".
- "I think about you so often. Like every night and every time we drive down that big hill, I look down the road that your house is on. I wonder what it would be like if you were still here, like if we would've gone to Regionals or farther. But I also think your passing has brought so many people together especially your Rebel team. Thank you so much for being such a great friend to me and I hope to see you soon.!"
So thank you for helping me muster up some tears tonight. I have been avoiding them. When I am forced to reflect back to what we had and what we have lost - well the tears are not far from the surface. Your words are a gift we will treasure forever and ever.
