Dan and I talked last night about how we are getting used to not having Shannon around. How that's good - because we are coping - and bad - because we are forgetting what it was like to have her here, present in our daily life.
Of course, she is not forgotten. Shannon is in our thoughts each and every day. This, too, is both good and bad. It is where she lives now, in our memories, and that helps us carry on her spirit. But thinking about her every day is exhausting, too.
We received a book on Christmas, a compilation of thoughts on grief by C.S. Lewis. One passage has really stuck with us:
"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief."
This is a difficult thing to articulate, but Lewis does it as well as anyone.
Dan, Erin and I will spend today together. Schools are closed all across Minnesota today due to the extreme cold. A couple of friends told us they think a little angel might have had something to do with there being no school on January 6th...
So, today is a day for remembering. Remembering Shannon. Remembering how she touched our lives and changed us forever. Remembering the importance of carrying out her wishes and doing positive things in her memory. Remembering the silver linings and the new and stronger friendships the came as a result of our journey.
If you can, take a moment today to remember our sweet, sassy girl gone much too soon...
