The posts on this blog are more infrequent now, and I can't really explain why. Life, I guess...
When I started this blog, I didn't have a full time job. We wrote the very first post on this site from up on Mayo Clinic floor 16 - the pediatric unit. We spent a lot of time up there on 16. Today, I had a regularly scheduled work meeting moved to a new location. A conference room on Mayo 16. I took a moment to sit and look out the windows where we would sit and look out while we waited for Shannon to have a blood draw or an appointment. I was remembering the day that we taped a piece of paper to the window, then hustled down the elevator and outside onto the Peace Plaza to see if we could spot it. I remember how excited Shannon and Erin were that they could see it. IN the midst of cancer treatment, we laughed.
Now, 7 years later, my job - a job I wouldn't have if I hadn't started writing this blog - took me back to Mayo 16. The universe sometimes circles back to places we've been before...
We are creeping up on what would be Shannon's 20th birthday. Perhaps that's why it hit me today. I still miss her every single day.
We're also spending time getting Erin ready for college. Because Drexel is on quarters, we don't take her to school until mid September. But the preparations have begun. She's texting with her suite mates about who is bringing what, and there's a shopping trip to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Ikea in our near future.
It's so exciting and scary. (And that's just me!) Is it normal to be jealous of your kid getting to go to college? I wanna move to a new city and have new adventures! I'm mostly kidding, but there is something exciting about the unknown.
And while we still have 6 weeks with Erin at home, I'm feeling the pangs of sadness that she's leaving. I'm going to miss her something fierce. She's the person I see every day. Dan will continue to travel to help pay those tuition bills. I will continue to work and life will go on. But it will be lonely without Miss E.
But, it's as it should be. I want nothing more for Erin to go away and be successful and not need me, at least not too much. This is the goal when you have kids. Raise them to be good people. Direct them to set goals and work to achieve them. Not every kid gets that chance. It makes me sad that Shannon never got to chase her dreams. But Erin will. And that makes me happy, so this momma is going to be all right.
