My parents have been encouraging me to blog since I was about 12. What better time than Christmas 2020 to finally listen to them? :) Christmas this year is weird, a holiday typically centered around sharing and catching up with family, now stripped to immediate families if you’re lucky. I am fortunate to be able to spend a few weeks at home with my parents, who are doing the best they can through these crazy times. BTW… “fortunate” is a relative term because I am pretty sure it was -2 yesterday…. Also, what 19-year-old LIKEs living in their parent’s basement? I digress….
Christmas has never been an easy holiday for us, it is filled with our memories of our Shannon sick, and it can often be a reminder of what we’ve lost My dad and I shared a moment of relief this year discussing not having to tiptoe around small talk on Christmas. Yesterday, on Christmas Eve, in between episodes of our current binge-watch, I convinced my mom to watch some of our old home videos with me. Shannon’s spirit is bright even when she was four years old, pushing her little sister around. We laughed at how dorky my parents were in their thirties and the constant sibling rivalry between Shannon and me. It is sometimes hard to watch but good to remember :)
It’s always been a complicated balance for me, missing Shannon, but I also understand that
I am largely who I am today because we lost her. I am in my junior year of college now,
enjoying my studies in Health Sciences. I have clicked off over 150 college credits at age
19 living in Philadelphia, and I will be applying to PA schools in the spring. I have been talking about going into medicine since my sister was sick, and it is quite hard to believe that I am closer to that career than I have ever been. Shannon is the reason for my drive, motivation, compassion, and why I want to be the kind of provider I want to be. I’d like to think she would be proud.
After a few days of grumbling about how cold it is outside, my parents convinced me to go on a walk with them to the golf course. Although I’m often skeptical of our “spiritual” experiences, there was no denying our guardian angel was present when not one, but 2, bald eagles flew over my mom, dad, and me on Christmas Day.
In the most isolated year of all time, I find myself having gratitude for the humanity around me. I’ve been lucky enough to surround myself with people I can laugh, cry with, and experience everything that this crazy year has thrown at us together. Going into 2021, I encourage all of us to live with compassion, a positive attitude, and a sense of humor through it all because that’s how we can honor my big sister, Shannon. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
