I am enjoying some quiet around the house this morning. Erin is off volunteering at a local environmental event - "The Pollination Celebration" - and Dan is out becoming one with nature... on the golf course.
It's been a crazy, busy week for us. Erin spent 5 days at volleyball camp, 8 hours a day, and still managed to fit in a golf lesson and a bike ride with friends. Play hard, sleep hard seems to be her MO.
Dan traveled to WI and back, while I spent a great deal of time this week prepping for our upcoming golf tournament. (Shameless plug - MGG Swings for Shannon, July 21, 2:00pm shotgun at Eastwood GC. Still looking for a few more teams to play!)
Dan and I actually played in a golf scramble yesterday. This, too, was a memorial fundraiser for the family of local man taken way too young by non-hodgkins lymphoma.
It was a beautiful day and we had a great time. What made it even better - several people along the way acknowledged Shannon, and our own loss. Dan and I were quite surprised by that.
Maybe it was the setting - a memorial event can certainly open people up. Maybe it was the beverage cart - sometimes that helps people loosen up and say things they might not say under normal circumstances!
Whatever it was, we appreciated each interaction, each acknowledgement. Everybody has stuff. Everybody suffers loss in their lives. It's so much better to say something - even if you fumble for the right words - than to say nothing at all.
Sometimes people worry that they are going to bring up old wounds, or that you might not even be thinking about it. Truth is, you are always thinking about it. When you suffer a tragedy, it just becomes a part of you. Even if it's not an active thought, it's always there.
So, my armchair advice - acknowledge it. Most people who have lost a loved one want to talk about it. A little kindness goes a long way in this world...
"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break." - William Shakespeare, Macbeth
