It is Friday the 13th and we have a long way to go. A week ago at this very moment Shannon was struggling through her final painful moments on this earth. Probably TMI. But impossible to ignore.
Erin shows flashes of her old form - at basketball practice last night she was good ol' Smiley - and when we got home the three of us snacked on a frozen pizza and watched the Gophers hold on for a win at Indiana. It was OK. Felt right. (BTW - I caught myself caring about a sporting event...baby steps. Sports indifference has been the rule around here for awhile. And we are pretty huge sports geeks.) Then around 9:30 we tucked Erin in and she fell asleep without much of a fight. Until about midnight.
Just around midnight Erin came up to our room crying. At our bedside, she told us Sunny the Wonderdog woke her with a bark and then led her into Shannon's room. Sunny was acting funny. So Erin was kind of freakin' about that. When I came down, Sunny led me to the door and then went outside and pooped. So you tell me...either the spirits were moving throughout our home...or Sunny really had to go.
Since she was a pup, Sunny has slept at the foot of me and Jen's bed - on her dog bed. So while laying and talking with Erin it dawned on me that maybe it was time for a change. I brought Sunny's bed down to Erin's room - plunked it in the corner and within a few minutes Sunny was curled up on it. When Erin awoke in the morning Sunny was on her bed with her. There is no doubt this dog knows something is different. She carefully reads and studies our emotions and moods and reacts accordingly. So we will see how it goes tonight. But I think Erin having her dog sleep by her would be a tremendous comfort. We'll see if Sunny remembers.
In the middle of the night, Erin sobbed through some painful admissions about her relationship with God at this time. When I asked if she wanted to say a little prayer she told me; "I prayed and then the tumor came back and then Shannon died!". She was pissed off. And I had no wisdom to offer...didn't even try.
Try listening to The Proclaimers If There's a God;
If there's a God
Why does He let
People die slowly
Racked by pain?
And if there's a God
Who blesses with children
Why does He steal
Some back again?
I don't know
Can you tell me? Oh
Can you tell me? Oh
Saturday morning we are off for a Mayo 6th grade basketball day in Albert Lea. E's Spartans will play four games and then we are booked at the Country Inn and Suites in Albert Lea with some of the families on the team. Erin and her buds will run around the hotel while parents visit and hang together. Might be just what this family needs to keep us busy, distracted and laughing. Erin always had to come on Rebel road trips. But this one will be all about her. I'm excited...a little anxious too.
Erin allowed us to drop her at school again this morning. She has been taking the bus home with her pals. Today at 1:00 she will participate in a 6th grade band concert at Willow Creek Middle School. I'm pretty certain Erin has had the fewest rehearsal sessions of anyone in the band. But I'm also pretty certain her french horn will not be the only instrument slightly off through Twinkle, Twinkle and Camptown Races.
