Monday November 12, 2012

The first snow flurries of the year are falling today.  I'm not a big fan of winter, but there is always some excitement the first time the white stuff appears.  It catches me off guard every year.  I guess I'm a slow learner.

We had a really nice weekend around here.  A good mix of social time and down time.  We saw some friends, watched some movies, and just caught our breath a bit.  Erin told us she felt like she got what she needed, and we had some good talks and some laughs together as a family.

I've been writing a lot here lately about my parenting struggles, and I've received so much support and reassurance.  Motherhood is like a cult.  In a good way.  No matter what your political leanings or parenting style, if you are a mother, you are bonded to others who have chosen the same path.

It is one of the cruel ironies of the world that we spend so much time and energy trying to make sure we raise our children to become independent and self sufficient and then when they do it, we feel such a sense of loss because they don't need us in the ways we are use to being needed.  But, there is much comfort in having another mother look you in the eye and say, "I've been there, and you are going to be o.k."  My fellow cult members have been reassuring me that I'll get through this stage, and Erin will probably even want to be my friend someday.

There's no denying our situation is a little different because of what we have been through as a family.  That just adds pressure to our interpersonal dynamics.  And it's not an excuse, but an explanation for why this stage has hit me so hard.  Just two years ago, it seemed like I knew my role, and that it was going to last forever:  I had two girls who needed me to help them as the grew up.  I was ready for the task at hand.  Now, all of a sudden one of them is gone and the other has a desire for more independence much sooner than I anticipated that would happen.  So, I've been reeling a bit.

But, every good day is a good day and we had a string of them this weekend, so I should focus on that.  Today is another good day.  Erin is off to school to start the 2nd quarter, and Dan and I are off to see Bruce Springsteen in concert tonight.  Me, DanO & The Boss... sounds good to me.