Monday Feb. 22, 2016

Where have the days gone? I haven't had a chance to blog in over a week. Honestly, I think this is the first time I've gone that long between posts in the almost 5 year history of writing this blog.

Yes, almost 5 years... and yet, there are still things to say...

The busyness in my own life is somewhat work related. My role with the Mayo Clinic News Network continues to involve new tasks. We have started recording our radio show in a new studio and this involves new graphic needs, which falls under my list of duties. I continue to feel engaged and am enjoying the work.

In some ways, I owe it all to this blog. Would I have seen myself as a writer/web editor without this venue to hone my skills? Doubtful.

So, I look at my job as another good thing to come from our terrible loss...

We had a quiet weekend around the house. This was the first "free" weekend after 6 weeks of Shannon events. Our scholarships have been awarded and another successful season is behind us. Plans are in the works to use some of the funds raised to help with brain cancer research in a specific way.  I'm excited about expanding this part of our foundation's mission. More details soon :)

Good things continue to happen, but none of it can bring back Shannon. Erin had a Shannon moment last night where she missed her so acutely it hurt. Erin said, "we could be having so much fun together". Erin has every right to feel robbed.

Yesterday Dan and I got a text from one of Shannon's friends. She is working on organizing things for her graduation party, and she found a note Shannon wrote her. Sweet of her to share the memory with us.

The biggest Shannon moment this weekend came from our neighbor who's dog passed away at age 16. Shannon and Erin use to dog sit, and they were so earnest about their responsibility. Shannon would leave hand written notes and our neighbor saved them all. She shared them with us this weekend. Seeing Shannon's writing - "I tried to feed him first, but he bolted for the door" and "he peed twice and pooped". So dear...

So while good things continue to happen in the after, it's still the after... Sometimes the loss is so
acute... it drives us to do better, to make a difference, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I feel for Erin as she navigates the world, feeling so alone sometimes.

It's a hell of a way to get stronger...

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt