Today doesn't feel bittersweet as it has in the past. I don't have an explanation. I don't miss Shannon less than I did last year. Maybe it's the passage of more time. Maybe it's my ongoing work to stay in the present and enjoy today. Maybe it's Miss E who is thriving and allowing me to really enjoy being her mother. She thanks me often and tells me she loves me every night before bed.
My own mother is back in Minnesota now, and able to be present for things now - holidays and Erin's activities. We have the three generations together more often now, and that feels good.
So, today is a day to feel good about who I am and where I'm at and to celebrate the fact that I'm being the best mom I can be.
This week gave me a chance to see my kid in action, doing things she loves.
Erin had her best day ever on the golf course, shooting 38 in a 9 hole meet on Thursday. First time she's broken 40 in a competitive event. When Dan and I were saying to her that it's too bad she didn't get to play 18 on that day, her response was priceless. "No, I'm glad it was only 9 holes. I finished bogey, bogey, bogey so I was kind of captain crumble!" That made us laugh.