Monday June 10, 2013
It has been a series of events lately that have us missing Shannon. Dan and I have been dealing with some melancholy, and it's a stark reminder that we will never be cured of this ill. We will miss her forever.
Last week brought another book event in St. Paul, and talk of Shannon and her fight. It is our mission to share her story, but talking about what a funny, beautiful kid she was brings some the heartache of our loss front and center.
Last week brought the golf banquet and the end to another school year. Another team, another grade that Shannon didn't get to experience.
Last week brought Mayo High School's graduation. Watching Erin's golf teammates and her good buddy Ariana walk across that stage made me happy for them, and sad for us. Selfishly, as a mom, I feel cheated.
Now, we embark on another summer. Family time. And, don't get me wrong, it's going to be a great one. Erin is already in full swing, hanging out with friends three of the first four nights. Is it bad when you just leave the door open for your twelve year old to let herself in because you are too tired to stay up that late? Erin has such good friends and she is loving some new found freedom that comes from being a responsible kid. All good.
This summer will take us to familiar places, and to some new ones. Three weeks from today, we will be in London. We are comfortable now as a threesome, and we will enjoy our adventures. But, sharing these experiences with your kids is part of being a parent, being a family. I can't help but feel we got the short straw on that one.
Memories of Shannon. Missing her. I know that healing from loss is not a linear process, and it goes on forever. It makes no sense, there is no pattern, and that is hard. Sometimes you take a downturn, and you just have to ride it out.
Posted by Jen