Tuesday July 29, 2014

I remember the days on this blog when we would write out our pain.  It hasn’t been that way much lately, as we carry on with life and do our best to survive and even thrive in the aftermath.

But today is full of pain.  Shannon would be 16.  I feel cheated.  

Erin should have a big sister.

Dan and I should get to watch Shannon grow up.

Everybody deserves the chance to be 16.  

Oh, no doubt Shannon would be taking her drivers test today.  She’d be so beyond excited.  I can’t even picture it.  Would she be taller?  Could she even reach the pedals?  She’s frozen in time, 13 years old…

It physically hurts today, the pain in the places where Shannon should be.

I watch her friends growing up, heading into their junior year of high school.  They are not kids any more, as they drive themselves to the places they need to go, and begin to think about college and what comes next.

I try really hard in this space to keep things in perspective, to share with you the triumphs as we carry on.  Today, I can’t find those encouraging words.  It just plain sucks and you can’t convince me otherwise.  There are no platitudes that will work today.

I know this will pass and we will be all right.  But today is a rough one. 

Happy sweet 16 dear Shannon.  You deserved so much better…