Thursday June 26, 2014

I am writing this morning from my lime green adirondack chair, sitting next to Shannon's rock at Lake Hubert.  Dan is in the new cabin, finishing the work we've been doing all morning - new carpet was laid yesterday and we've spent the past few hours putting things back together.  Erin is unaware of our productivity, sound asleep in a bed on the porch of the old cabin.

It's been a wonderful week on many fronts - Erin played in her first Jr. PGA event, made it to volleyball open gym, and hosted 7 friends for a bonfire.  Dan had good productive meetings before heading north to manage the project.

I had some training on new aspects of my own job.  I am feeling so fortunate to have this opportunity to use my writing skills and expand my knowledge.  It's a wonderful fit for me and I like the team of people.  It's nice to be engaged and using my brain for something other than writing about myself!

Yesterday wasn't a great lake day, so we made the most of it by playing golf.  We took Erin to The Pines yesterday - Marsh to Lakes for those of you who've been there.  That might be my favorite course.  So many good memories for me and Dan.  We used to sneak on there and play 9 holes back in the days when we were dating and broke.  20 plus years ago now.  Wow.

We all hit some good shots and some bad ones.  Erin and Dan made birdies.  None for me, dammit.  Our threesome laughed a lot - mostly at each other.  At one point Dan told Erin, "This is the hole where your mom and I fell in love."  She showed the appropriate level of disgust for that comment.  We rounded out the night with a burger and fries, and a stop at the Chocolate Ox for ice cream.  Not too shabby for a Wednesday in June...

So, being here brings us good vibes.  So much for which to be grateful.  And yet, as I sit here next to Shannon's ashes, I can't help but spend a moment thinking about what we've lost.  That's never going to get easier, I don't think.  So many memories of her here, too.  How she didn't like to put her feet in the sand when she was a toddler.  How she and Erin would swim for hours on end, no matter what the water temp was.  How one of the things she wanted to do in her last summer was go to the cabin again.

So, we carry on, carrying her with us.  Things are not as we thought they would be, but life is good.  We are grateful.