Wednesday June 17, 2015

Sometimes I feel like I carry around this big secret. Like if someone asked me the question "Tell me one thing about you?" What's the first thing I'd want to say? It's maybe not fair to me to say the most important fact about me is that I lost a daughter, but that's how it feels.

We had new neighbors move in yesterday, and that led me to the uncomfortable introduction of our children. They have 3 - a first grader, a four year old, and a six month old. We have one, but not really...

When we get to know them better, we will share our story. It's not a great ice breaker when you're trying to make a good impression.

I think that's why I'm feeling this way today. I always feel guilty when I don't acknowledge Shannon's existence when I talk about my family. Sometimes, though, having a child who died just doesn't fit into the conversation.

The new neighbors seem very nice and someday they will understand who I really am. The mother of two, raising one while living my life to honor the other.

There is much Shannon stuff ahead in the coming weeks.

Preparations are underway for the MGG Swings for Shannon golf event. Our committee met this week and we're looking forward to the 3rd Annual event being even bigger and better. I always feel stressed about making the event run smoothly, but it always does.

But before that, Dan, Erin and I will go to Ireland. We will land at Shannon airport on my birthday and spend the first two nights staying on the Shannon River. It will be impossible not to think of her. And I'm OK with that. I feel better when she is a part of things, when I acknowledge her instead of keeping it a secret.

Someday the new neighbors will know not just who we are now, but who we used to be...