In honor of Brain Cancer Awareness Month, today was "Remember Shannon Day" and the Willow Creek staff and students sported their Shannon Scholarship Fund t-shirts with pride. Thanks for showing the love, Wildcats.
Willow Creek Rocks!
Over the last two days, Shannon and Erin's classmates helped us raise money for the Scholarship Fund. Today, I stood and chatted with two boys, check that, two young men who have known Shannon since second grade. We talked about life and heading off to high school in the fall. Just as it should be. Damn...
In honor of Brain Cancer Awareness Month, today was "Remember Shannon Day" and the Willow Creek staff and students sported their Shannon Scholarship Fund t-shirts with pride. Thanks for showing the love, Wildcats.
In honor of Brain Cancer Awareness Month, today was "Remember Shannon Day" and the Willow Creek staff and students sported their Shannon Scholarship Fund t-shirts with pride. Thanks for showing the love, Wildcats.
Tuesday May 29, 2012
A quick weekend recap for you:
The weather was a bit dodgy and canceled the kids run on Saturday. Erin was disappointed, but took it in stride... (sorry, bad pun) We made the most of the day by spending it with the O'Hara aunts and uncles and cousin Grace. Nothing like a room full of love and laughter and a tiny bit of sarcasm to brighten a rainy day! Erin can hold her own with anybody - from her 12 year old friend Emily to her 64 year old Uncle Mike, and everyone in between.
Sunday morning brought the half marathon and again, the weather was a factor. Hot and windy with high humidity made running 13.1 miles a struggle. Dan was glad his brother Tim was running along side him and keeping him going. They didn't run as fast as they would have liked, but finishing on a day like that is an big accomplishment as far at I'm concerned.
Running for Shannon. Of course they made it. She wouldn't have it any other way.
Monday brought better weather and Dan was feeling good enough for he and I to play a round of golf with our friends. For the first time this spring, Erin played some golf, too, and she liked it. She even wanted to go out again last night and play a few more holes! I think being around those girls on the Mayo golf team has definitely inspired her to want to be a part of that next year. Good deal.
So, another holiday weekend is behind us. Lots of Shannon memories from a year ago kept popping up. Holidays bring a break from the normal routine and allow for extra family time. So poignant for us, because our family is different now. But, we are learning to accept that Shannon is still with us in many ways. And that part feels good.
Tuesday is here. Back to work, everyone.
The weather was a bit dodgy and canceled the kids run on Saturday. Erin was disappointed, but took it in stride... (sorry, bad pun) We made the most of the day by spending it with the O'Hara aunts and uncles and cousin Grace. Nothing like a room full of love and laughter and a tiny bit of sarcasm to brighten a rainy day! Erin can hold her own with anybody - from her 12 year old friend Emily to her 64 year old Uncle Mike, and everyone in between.
Sunday morning brought the half marathon and again, the weather was a factor. Hot and windy with high humidity made running 13.1 miles a struggle. Dan was glad his brother Tim was running along side him and keeping him going. They didn't run as fast as they would have liked, but finishing on a day like that is an big accomplishment as far at I'm concerned.
Running for Shannon. Of course they made it. She wouldn't have it any other way.
Monday brought better weather and Dan was feeling good enough for he and I to play a round of golf with our friends. For the first time this spring, Erin played some golf, too, and she liked it. She even wanted to go out again last night and play a few more holes! I think being around those girls on the Mayo golf team has definitely inspired her to want to be a part of that next year. Good deal.
So, another holiday weekend is behind us. Lots of Shannon memories from a year ago kept popping up. Holidays bring a break from the normal routine and allow for extra family time. So poignant for us, because our family is different now. But, we are learning to accept that Shannon is still with us in many ways. And that part feels good.
Tuesday is here. Back to work, everyone.
Saturday May 26, 2012
The Memorial holiday weekend is upon us. A huge thunderstorm over night has given way to a cooler morning. We are hoping the next round of storms holds off until after the kids marathon today. Erin and her friend Emily are running this morning. They made a plan to wear their "I heart Shannon" shirts, just as they did a year ago today. A year ago today ....
We have been reminiscing a lot about that this week. A year ago today, Shannon was feeling so good. We were three weeks into radiation and chemotherapy, and she was handling it all in stride.
A year ago today, a huge family gathering took place for the first time in our journey. We asked for support, and they all came.
A year ago today, Shannon looked at all those kids wearing shirts in her honor and said, "I don't want to watch them run for me, I want to run with them!" And she did.
A year ago today, Shannon sat with TV reporter Chris Conte and gave the interview where she articulated what she was feeling: she said just wanted to be a normal kid, but she also said she wanted her life to mean something to someone, some day. Mission accomplished.
So, it is with a bit of a heavy heart that we go out and about on this weekend. We will have a smaller O'Hara gathering today - this time to celebrate with Mike and Megan who share this birthday. It will be nice to be with family today. Erin will run today in Shannon's honor. Dan and his brother Tim will run tomorrow for the same reason. Our memories and her spirit keep pushing us forward.
Thursday May 24, 2012
Big shout out to Mayo Girls Golf. The Spartans won the Big 9 Championship for the first time in 19 years Thursday. The first league title for Coach Myhro. On a soggy Faribault G & CC, Katrina Ruedinger won the individual title with a 77. Nice playing @k_coolcat! Katrina texted Jen "we won for Shannon today".
I have been carried through training for the Med-City Half-Marathon by music from the Shannon blog play list.
Here are the top 3 songs that helped me prepare for Sunday's race:
3) Paulo Nutini Rewind - Shannon used to pump up for soccer and hockey games cranking Paulo's New Shoes. I know Rewind is a song is about a relationship gone bad. But in my mind where all song lyrics weave a trail back to our life with and without Shannon; "why can't we just rewind?"
2) Jason Mraz Live High - My anthem for gratitude. "Glory God, God is peaking through the blinds..." I thought this might have been a great choice for the funeral service. But it didn't work out in the context of a formal ceremony. Regardless, it's a song that I have played -and sang loudly while running- often over the course of our journey.
"try to picture a girl through a looking glass
And see her as a carbon atom, see her eye and stare back at them
See the girl as her own new world
Though her home is on the surface she is still a universe ..."
1) Cold Play Fix You - Rumor has it the O'Hara cousins (see photo below) were crying this at the bar at Michael's til 0:dark:30 the night of Shannon's wake.
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you"
Needless to say training for this race has been easy. There was no quit in Shannon, there is none in Erin, and I'll be damned if I'm going to whine about 13.1. Now, there's no chance of me running a full Marathon. I'm not an idiot.
I have been carried through training for the Med-City Half-Marathon by music from the Shannon blog play list.
Here are the top 3 songs that helped me prepare for Sunday's race:
3) Paulo Nutini Rewind - Shannon used to pump up for soccer and hockey games cranking Paulo's New Shoes. I know Rewind is a song is about a relationship gone bad. But in my mind where all song lyrics weave a trail back to our life with and without Shannon; "why can't we just rewind?"
2) Jason Mraz Live High - My anthem for gratitude. "Glory God, God is peaking through the blinds..." I thought this might have been a great choice for the funeral service. But it didn't work out in the context of a formal ceremony. Regardless, it's a song that I have played -and sang loudly while running- often over the course of our journey.
"try to picture a girl through a looking glass
And see her as a carbon atom, see her eye and stare back at them
See the girl as her own new world
Though her home is on the surface she is still a universe ..."
1) Cold Play Fix You - Rumor has it the O'Hara cousins (see photo below) were crying this at the bar at Michael's til 0:dark:30 the night of Shannon's wake.
O'Hara cousins at the DC Race for Hope - May 6, 2012
"Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replaceTears stream down on your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you"
Needless to say training for this race has been easy. There was no quit in Shannon, there is none in Erin, and I'll be damned if I'm going to whine about 13.1. Now, there's no chance of me running a full Marathon. I'm not an idiot.
Wednesday May 23, 2012
Things are status quo here in Rochester as everyone plugs along, doing what needs doing.
Dan is off traveling for work again - this week's destination is Sioux Falls, SD and surrounding areas. Business is busy, and busy is good. Dan hadn't been to South Dakota yet this year, so it's the first time facing these customers since Shannon's passing. Some of these guys have known Dan for a dozen years, so these are friendships as well as customers relationships. I suspect Dan is doing some talking about Shannon, our journey, the end, and carrying on. Doing what needs doing.
I continue working on the book. I'm going to get some feedback here the end of this week and talk about the timeline of how things go. Still excited, but dealing with waves of self doubt. I think I can, I think I can...
The rest of my time seems to be consumed with normal life stuff. The refrigerator needed fixing and the van still does, and there's laundry and yard work, and so on and so on... These minor irritants almost put me over the edge last week. Then I stop and think, am I crazy? How can I be upset about the fridge or the van? Aren't there bigger things in my life to be upset about? But, maybe that's just it. The realization that our big loss doesn't stop the world from spinning. The stuff of life still happens. You still have to get up every day and deal with whatever is in front of you. My kid dying doesn't exempt me from my fridge dying or my van dying! Maybe there is some solace in that. "Normal" things that happen to "normal" people happen to us, too.
Erin is plugging away at these final 10 school days. There is still math to be done, and a rocket made out of a pop bottle to build. She is going to finish 6th grade and put this year behind her. Doing what needs doing.
I don't know if I've seen a kid change as much in a school year as Erin has this year. Part of it is genetic - she has changed physically from a little kid into a young lady who is already taller than a couple of her aunts, and seems to be creeping up on her mom every day.
Part of it is environmental - she's hanging with the older kids now, so it's time to care about what you wear and how you look. (And, by the way, how your parents look!)
But Erin's school year also involved this life changing event that matured her in ways beyond understanding. She knows now that life isn't fair. She knows that bad things sometimes happen to good people. She knows that as much as I try, I can't protect her from everything.
But, she also knows that there are good people all around who will help pick you up. She knows that she can make friends and find her own way. She knows that she is strong and can handle adversity. She knows that you better spend your time doing the things you like and being with the people you like because no one knows what the future holds.
This school year, Erin has learned enough to be on the A Honor Roll, and then some ...
Dan is off traveling for work again - this week's destination is Sioux Falls, SD and surrounding areas. Business is busy, and busy is good. Dan hadn't been to South Dakota yet this year, so it's the first time facing these customers since Shannon's passing. Some of these guys have known Dan for a dozen years, so these are friendships as well as customers relationships. I suspect Dan is doing some talking about Shannon, our journey, the end, and carrying on. Doing what needs doing.
I continue working on the book. I'm going to get some feedback here the end of this week and talk about the timeline of how things go. Still excited, but dealing with waves of self doubt. I think I can, I think I can...
The rest of my time seems to be consumed with normal life stuff. The refrigerator needed fixing and the van still does, and there's laundry and yard work, and so on and so on... These minor irritants almost put me over the edge last week. Then I stop and think, am I crazy? How can I be upset about the fridge or the van? Aren't there bigger things in my life to be upset about? But, maybe that's just it. The realization that our big loss doesn't stop the world from spinning. The stuff of life still happens. You still have to get up every day and deal with whatever is in front of you. My kid dying doesn't exempt me from my fridge dying or my van dying! Maybe there is some solace in that. "Normal" things that happen to "normal" people happen to us, too.
Erin is plugging away at these final 10 school days. There is still math to be done, and a rocket made out of a pop bottle to build. She is going to finish 6th grade and put this year behind her. Doing what needs doing.
I don't know if I've seen a kid change as much in a school year as Erin has this year. Part of it is genetic - she has changed physically from a little kid into a young lady who is already taller than a couple of her aunts, and seems to be creeping up on her mom every day.
Part of it is environmental - she's hanging with the older kids now, so it's time to care about what you wear and how you look. (And, by the way, how your parents look!)
But Erin's school year also involved this life changing event that matured her in ways beyond understanding. She knows now that life isn't fair. She knows that bad things sometimes happen to good people. She knows that as much as I try, I can't protect her from everything.
But, she also knows that there are good people all around who will help pick you up. She knows that she can make friends and find her own way. She knows that she is strong and can handle adversity. She knows that you better spend your time doing the things you like and being with the people you like because no one knows what the future holds.
This school year, Erin has learned enough to be on the A Honor Roll, and then some ...
Thunderbolts!
With coach Bart away this weekend, Dan and I had the soccer coaching duties to ourselves. It was hot and windy, and we only had one sub, but our Thunderbolts put out a heck of an effort Saturday.
Erin and her buddy Hallie each scored a goal and then, with a 2-2 tie late in the game, Erin made a sweet pass across to her teammate Zoe who buried it in the back of the net for a 3-2 victory.
Our friend Kula came and took some photos today. Check out Erin in action:
Now, check out me and Dan in action, using our best body english on the side lines. This is what happens when you've been together with the same person for a very long time:
We've been laughing out loud tonight about this one! A good day today. Tomorrow, volleyball...
Saturday May 19, 2012
It's Saturday morning here in steamy Rochester and we are more than glad that the weekend is here. This was a tough week. Dan and I are both struggling with the fact that life goes on, people move on, and we are still here in our grief. And even though we are in it together, it can be a very lonely feeling.
Don't get me wrong - we are still surrounded by family and friends who support us and will listen when we need an ear. But the passing of time just means that everyone gets farther away from their time with Shannon. More things happen that Shannon wasn't a part of. Every day that goes by is creating a piece of history that doesn't include her. She wasn't here for the things that are taking place now. And yet, we wake up thinking of her each and every day.
This is it - this is the grief, the pain, the loss that just is. There's no fix for it, no cure. This is learning to go on living, and just carry her memory with us as we move forward.
Erin is helping us, for sure. How can we curl up in the fetal position when the 11 year old is getting up each day and going on? School, friends, sports - she's filling up her social calendar and then telling us where and when she needs to be somewhere and, oh yeah, can I have $20? Thank goodness for Erin.
So, here's what Erin has planned for us this weekend: a soccer game today at 1pm, followed by swimming with friends, followed by a cookout. Then, Sunday will be volleyball all day to wrap up the season. You go girl, and we'll follow...
Don't get me wrong - we are still surrounded by family and friends who support us and will listen when we need an ear. But the passing of time just means that everyone gets farther away from their time with Shannon. More things happen that Shannon wasn't a part of. Every day that goes by is creating a piece of history that doesn't include her. She wasn't here for the things that are taking place now. And yet, we wake up thinking of her each and every day.
This is it - this is the grief, the pain, the loss that just is. There's no fix for it, no cure. This is learning to go on living, and just carry her memory with us as we move forward.
Erin is helping us, for sure. How can we curl up in the fetal position when the 11 year old is getting up each day and going on? School, friends, sports - she's filling up her social calendar and then telling us where and when she needs to be somewhere and, oh yeah, can I have $20? Thank goodness for Erin.
So, here's what Erin has planned for us this weekend: a soccer game today at 1pm, followed by swimming with friends, followed by a cookout. Then, Sunday will be volleyball all day to wrap up the season. You go girl, and we'll follow...
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