Wednesday May 23, 2012

Things are status quo here in Rochester as everyone plugs along, doing what needs doing.

Dan is off traveling for work again - this week's destination is Sioux Falls, SD and surrounding areas.  Business is busy, and busy is good.  Dan hadn't been to South Dakota yet this year, so it's the first time facing these customers since Shannon's passing.  Some of these guys have known Dan for a dozen years, so these are friendships as well as customers relationships.  I suspect Dan is doing some talking about Shannon, our journey, the end, and carrying on.  Doing what needs doing.

I continue working on the book.  I'm going to get some feedback here the end of this week and talk about the timeline of how things go.  Still excited, but dealing with waves of self doubt.  I think I can, I think I can...

The rest of my time seems to be consumed with normal life stuff.  The refrigerator needed fixing and the van still does, and there's laundry and yard work, and so on and so on...  These minor irritants almost put me over the edge last week.  Then I stop and think, am I crazy?  How can I be upset about the fridge or the van?  Aren't there bigger things in my life to be upset about?  But, maybe that's just it.  The realization that our big loss doesn't stop the world from spinning.  The stuff of life still happens.  You still have to get up every day and deal with whatever is in front of you.  My kid dying doesn't exempt me from my fridge dying or my van dying!  Maybe there is some solace in that.  "Normal" things that happen to "normal" people happen to us, too.

Erin is plugging away at these final 10 school days.  There is still math to be done, and a rocket made out of a pop bottle to build.  She is going to finish 6th grade and put this year behind her.  Doing what needs doing.

I don't know if I've seen a kid change as much in a school year as Erin has this year.  Part of it is genetic - she has changed physically from a little kid into a young lady who is already taller than a couple of her aunts, and seems to be creeping up on her mom every day.

Part of it is environmental - she's hanging with the older kids now, so it's time to care about what you wear and how you look.  (And, by the way, how your parents look!)

But Erin's school year also involved this life changing event that matured her in ways beyond understanding.  She knows now that life isn't fair.  She knows that bad things sometimes happen to good people.  She knows that as much as I try, I can't protect her from everything.

But, she also knows that there are good people all around who will help pick you up.  She knows that she can make friends and find her own way.  She knows that she is strong and can handle adversity.  She knows that you better spend your time doing the things you like and being with the people you like because no one knows what the future holds.

This school year, Erin has learned enough to be on the A Honor Roll, and then some ...