Saturday May 19, 2012

It's Saturday morning here in steamy Rochester and we are more than glad that the weekend is here.  This was a tough week.  Dan and I are both struggling with the fact that life goes on, people move on, and we are still here in our grief.  And even though we are in it together, it can be a very lonely feeling.

Don't get me wrong - we are still surrounded by family and friends who support us and will listen when we need an ear.  But the passing of time just means that everyone gets farther away from their time with Shannon.  More things happen that Shannon wasn't a part of.  Every day that goes by is creating a piece of history that doesn't include her.  She wasn't here for the things that are taking place now.  And yet, we wake up thinking of her each and every day.

This is it - this is the grief, the pain, the loss that just is.  There's no fix for it, no cure.  This is learning to go on living, and just carry her memory with us as we move forward.

Erin is helping us, for sure.  How can we curl up in the fetal position when the 11 year old is getting up each day and going on?  School, friends, sports - she's filling up her social calendar and then telling us where and when she needs to be somewhere and, oh yeah, can I have $20?  Thank goodness for Erin.

So, here's what Erin has planned for us this weekend:  a soccer game today at 1pm, followed by swimming with friends, followed by a cookout.  Then, Sunday will be volleyball all day to wrap up the season.  You go girl, and we'll follow...