Wednesday February 26, 2014

I have just finished dropping Erin off at school.  Driving these roads right now is a contact sport!  Between ruts in the road, spinning tires, and snowbanks up to the stop signs, well, it ain't easy.

February is going to end, very soon, and that's a good thing.

Dan's cousin passed on a link to an interview that Anderson Cooper did with Liam Neeson.  I am still always interested in hearing other people's take on grief, coping, moving on.

Neeson lost his wife to a tragic skiing accident five years ago, so the circumstances are different, but many of the things that he said still resonate with me.

He speaks of the people that come to help in a time of need.  That's part of what changed me forever.  I was playing tennis yesterday with my friends and we were laughing and it just felt so good right down to my soul.  I know that those relationships are different - better in some ways - because of my journey.  It's hard to explain, but that almost produces some guilt for me.  How can my life be so enriched by the people in my world when many of these relationships deepened because my world changed so tragically?

Anderson Cooper also made the valid point that everyone will deal with grief, deal with loss at some point in their lives.  Maybe that's why my relationships are deeper.  Maybe I have something to offer now as people navigate their lives.  Maybe this is why Dan, Erin and I have all found ourselves supporting people lately as they struggle with relationships, health, jobs, life...

The loss of Shannon changed our place in the world, changed who we are, changed how we relate to people.  I'd be lying if I didn't say some of this is for the better.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to reconcile that feeling - losing Shannon made me more fully human.

"Grief can be the garden for compassion" - Rumi