Saturday February 25, 2012

First off, Jen's van is fine.  Don't know what happened.  Our guy Roger at Auto Techs cleaned out the fuel line but wasn't able pinpoint a specific issue that would have kept it from starting.  Who knows.  It's a 2002 Chrysler with 180,000 miles.  Let's just say, we will  be keeping our AAA membership current.

As a family we continue to do the hard work required to get better.  Each morning at breakfast, we try to read from the daily reflection book Healing After Loss, Daily Meditation for Working Through Grief.  The entry from Friday February 25 delivered this timely message;

"One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves (and we'll know we've passed a milestone when we are able to do this) is to remember, with delight and laughter, the funny times we shared with our loved one.

At first we have little heart for laughter.  Later, when we do, it may seem disrespectful to the dead.  Perhaps, we even feel guilty.

But think -which would your loved one rejoice in more-seeing you sad, or seeing you reveling in the memory of wonderful, hilarious time together?
A merry heart doeth good like medicine. Proverbs 17:22"

This week while I was on the road for work I found myself in a bit of a funk.  Didn't feel much like talking.  I thought I took a couple steps backwards after stringing together some good time.

The quote in our daily reflections book for today reminds me that is OK; "I am feeling down today, it doesn't mean I will forever."

So we continue to heal.  Slowly.  I've learned feeding the soul with readings and music and quiet reflection becomes part of the discipline required for recovery.  Doesn't mean it doesn't suck some days.

But we can do this... Shannon would insist.

This weekend Erin's Spartans play in the Rochester Youth Basketball Tournament.  Grandma and Papa Harkins are along for the ride.  We have laughed and cried together.  That will continue.

I can tell I am in a better state of mind today as my music is working well this morning.  Bill Withers Lovely Day just shuffled up;

When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day