This is our journey with our daughter Shannon through treatment for, and ultimately death from, a brainstem glioma tumor. We continue to write about our lives after Shannon's passing as we try to carry on her spirit. We are writing from the heart - parental discretion advised.
Saturday February 4, 2012
Another Friday has come and gone and I wonder how long I will do "the count" on Friday mornings: it has now been 4 weeks since Shannon's passing ...
Erin made it through a full week of school - I wasn't sure that would happen with they way things were going this week, so it's a hell of an accomplishment on her part. We spent Friday afternoon doing some shopping as Erin has been growing like a weed and growing out of her clothes. Then Dan and I took her to see some furniture we like for the family room and it got Erin's stamp of approval as well. After that, we let Erin pick a dinner destination and the three of us celebrated making it through another week.
This week was a pretty emotional one as we try to find balance between being social and solitude. We need some of each and what we want depends on the day or the hour or the minute. We have heard from all our close family and friends that they would do anything for us, if they just knew what to do. You cannot take our grief away, but you shouldn't pretend it isn't there. It will lessen in time, but it is a process we must go through and there is no timetable. The future is unknowable as we have learned...
We had some good chats at dinner about what's ahead this weekend. Today we will go and watch the Rebels play in their home tournament. Before the game this afternoon, there will be a dedication ceremony as all the Rochester Youth Hockey girls tournaments have now been named "The Shannon Cup". This weekend, not only do the 12B's play, but the 12A team and two 10B teams are also playing their home tournaments and competing for the cup. We are off and running with a fundraising effort so that starting next year, we can give scholarships to graduating seniors in Shannon's memory. We want to be able to pay it forward and honor Shannon's spirit in this way.
I awoke this morning thinking that Shannon would have been so pumped for this weekend. Damn. Little bits of heartache each day as we carry on ... Hopefully balanced out by little bits of joy as we move forward.