Thursday April 5, 2012

The waves crashing into the beach outside our Hutchinson Island room sound like a freight train. Jen and I left the deck door to our bedroom open all week. The power of nature has been alarming. Sometimes the roars are "crackers" - our term for big ones that make a cracking sound when water slaps water.

Wednesday Erin and I spent hours body surfing and diving into the waves. We are both strong swimmers but at times you feel a little helpless as the wave energy jostles your body mass like a rag doll. Never-the-less, I am fully aware again of the teeny, tiny, place I occupy in this universe.

When you think, the whole time we were completely absorbed in our journey as a family and as a community with Shannon, these waves were still pounding this coastline with no knowledge, care or concern about our sitch. We are bit players. And this trip has given us a healthy perspective on that.

Erin has done her best to keep smiling - but she misses her buddy, her sister, her constant companion. No doubt that has been apparent in our first vacation together as a family of three. This puts pressure on me and Jen to step in and entertain or just play swimming games or play in the ocean - to be her play buddy. Sometimes that is annoying when you just want to chill. But the kid still needs to be 10. (11 next week!)

The other reality that has been exposed - it is hard to watch cute families enjoy each other like we used to. I would catch myself watching two little girls entertain each other and laugh and fight and compete for the attention of Mom and Dad - "Mom, watch this!". Erin noticed too.

All part of the process. We are trying to find our groove. Baby steps.

Our weather was fab - might've been too hot yesterday - but I better keep that to myself. We check out today and return to the 507 tonight and all three of us are ready. It's Master's weekend, Opening Day and Easter. We have a few days to recover before returning to the meat grind Monday.

Music, words and lyrics are catching my emotions again...I think that is a good thing...

Jack Johnson captures it well;

Shocking but we're just nothing we're just moments
We're clever but we're clueless we're just human
Amusing but confusing but the truth is
All we got is questions we'll never know
Never know, never know