Saturday May 7, 2011

I'm up early this morning while the rest of the house sleeps.  That's good bloggin' time for me.  The Ipod shuffle function is off.  Just straight Bruce this morning - looking for inspiration from "The Wild, The Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle" album in order, in its entirety.  I vividly recall doing this back in high school; listening to this same record over-and-over on the turntable with headphones plugged into our stereo back in our Bloomington house.  "Hey Spanish Johnny...wanna make a little easy money tonight...."

My Friday was lined up to be a good one.  Jen and I closed on a home refinance which is a great thing for our overall financial health.  I went for a quick training run.  Beautiful day.  And then it was off for the Spring Open at our home track, Willow Creek Golf Course, for 18 holes of tournament fun with my good buds Opie and Cuber.  I've played in this event for a bunch of years in a  row.  The field includes a familiar group of old IBM'ers and random connections to many phases of my life.  Traditionally, the Spring Open is one of the favorite events of my golf season.

But Friday I just couldn't flush it all away and leave my troubles behind.  I thought I could but I couldn't.  And the boys were great - in fact there were man-hugs all over the place for me.  Mostly guys don't want to talk about real-world stuff but my guys were in tune with the big stuff going on in my life.  And I just sucked.  I hate my new driver.  I can't pronate and everything is a weak fade right.  Concentration is not in my bag at this time.  Mostly, I just wanted to be with my girls.

So that's kind of disappointing.  I know I am going to need to find happiness in the things I know I like to do.  I'm just not there.  And my fear is that the invites to do fun stuff will dry up...especially if I suck.

Jen taught tennis at the RAC and came home to report that she too struggled Friday.  And she loves to teach tennis and be around the kids.  Somehow we need to work through this.  We will.  Just taking some time to settle into our "new normal".

Grandma helped out again to get Erin off the school bus and Shannon came home from golf practice at about the same time as I got home from the Spring Open.  But then I was grumpy.  Even the Twins shelling Tim Wakefield and the Red Sox didn't help much. 

Erin and I had a talk in the back yard about our new life and it was tough.  She has a lot on her mind.  I told her Aunt Suzi and cousin Maggie are coming to see the Fireballs play Saturday.  Erin told me she knows they are coming to see Shannon.  I told her no - they were coming to see her play soccer - which they are. 

On Friday night's Shannon and E used to always get caught up on DVR'ed shows they had recorded during the week.  I told Shannon that Erin would still like doing that with her and we left the girls to figure it out.  Jen was tired.  I made a couple phone calls in our office.

I later went down to find the girls had made a bed with sleeping bags on the floor - GLC blaring on the TV (GLC is family code for Good Luck Charlie - a very funny Disney series we like to watch together).  So that's where they slept.  Just like back in the day.

Saturday we have Fireball action - a 10am kick off gives us some morning time together without having to rush out the door.  That's nice.  We like to sit around in the mornings together...cook a big breakfast...just chill.  The smells of coffee and bacon fill the house.

Then Saturday gets busy as the girls will head north with Grandma up to cousin Laurynn's dance recital - Jen and I will go see my folks in Edina and then we will connect later at Uncle Eric's in Shakopee.  I have to be honest I don't like being away from the girls for very long.  Maybe that's my problem on the golf course.

Speaking of golf, I just clicked over to see that Seve Ballesteros finally lost his battle... I knew he was really sick...I did not know he was fighting a brain tumor...hits me like a heavy punch to the gut....