Sunday Night March 25, 2012

To the many amazing kids that took the time to author letters to us - I just want to say THANK YOU.

Tonight I sat down to read my Sports Illustrated Baseball Preview - instead I began paging through the three ring binders presented to us with hundreds of letters from students from Willow Creek Middle School.  We also have a book of letters from Shannon's Rebel teammates that I have been reading.

I think I had put my grieving on hold.  But after scanning through a couple of the letters that tremendous burden of grief and loss is back.  And I thank you for letting me feel this way again.  Because without Shannon I am not OK.  I will never be the same.

Sometimes it's easy to fall back into fall back into the same attitudes and behaviors I swore off...

But then I read the words and messages from the classmates;
  • "Shannon I am so fortunate to have met you and be your best friend.  You always treated me with respect and kindness.  You have touched my life in so many ways."
  • "When you were first diagnosed you said you were going to beat it.  I just wanna say you did good Shannon.  You did good.  I'm gonna miss you".
  • "You could flip my day from bad to amazing with only a couple words.  When I think of you I think of you as my hero.  You were the strongest person I ever met and will probably ever meet".
The words from the Rebels follow the same theme;
  • "When I think or see the number 9, I think of Shannon.  When I see lime green I think of Shannon.  Also when I hear the song "Don't Stop Believin'" I think of Shannon.  I think of Shannon and how she never stopped believing".
  • "I think about you so often.  Like every night and every time we drive down that big hill, I look down the road that your house is on.  I wonder what it would be like if you were still here, like if we would've gone to Regionals or farther.  But I also think your passing has brought so many people together especially your Rebel team.  Thank you so much for being such a great friend to me and I hope to see you soon.!"
So thank you for helping me muster up some tears tonight.  I have been avoiding them. When I am forced to reflect back to what we had and what we have lost - well the tears are not far from the surface.  Your words are a gift we will treasure forever and ever.