Early Saturday Morning

Three weeks. Has it been a lifetime or a blink of an eye since Shannon passed? It depends on the day, the hour, the minute... We can talk about her and reminisce often times without tears, but some things set me off.

Yesterday, I returned to Graham Arena for the first time since Shannon's last skate on December 4th. Graham Arena might have been Shannon's favorite place on earth.

The U14 Rochester tournament is taking place this weekend and several of Shannon's classmates are on that team. These girls wanted to honor Shannon and help us start to raise funds for a scholarship bearing Shannon's name that we hope to be able to award in future years. So, we wanted to show our support. Seeing all these girls walking around with green stickers on bearing Shannon's name and number was heart warming and gut wrenching at the same time. There are t-shirts being sold that say "I skate for Shannon" and a big poster displayed with Shannon's story and picture on it. Seeing that was just a little too much for me and I had a public teary moment. Not a complete meltdown, but the tears came.

The tears flowed for the kindness of these girls and their families. But, as I watched those girls skate and compete, my tears also flowed for Shannon. She loved these tournaments where you spend all weekend at the rink with your friends and you play some hockey, too. That was her happy place. My tears flowed for Dan and I, too.  We really enjoyed watching our kid play hockey and being a part of the hockey community. We've admitted this week that losing hockey as a part of our lives is really tough for the two of us. That was one of our happy places, too.

Next weekend it's the Rebels turn with the Rochester U12 tournament taking place. The fundraising efforts will continue and we will be there at the rink supporting those girls as best we can. I better be prepared for a few more public tears.

But, while we spend some time thinking back, we are also trying to put some energy into moving forward.  Erin spent yesterday with two different groups of friends - staying busy and having fun.  Today, we are off to Faribault for some more basketball.  More activity, more motion.

We applied for a passport for Erin yesterday. No definite plans, but we want to have options to do something different and make new memories with our little E. Forging ahead while still mourning, honoring, and reminiscing. Two steps forward, one step back ...